Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Grammar/Spelling Lessons 1 - 3

Listen up!  This is important and will be on the test!

Grammar/Spelling lesson #1:

There is no "E" in Grammar.  None.  Nada.  Zip.  Zero.  NO "E"!  At all.  Ever.
If you put an "e" in "grammar" then you are an evil person and will always fail the test.
"E" is for Evil.  Bad.  Not good.

So don't EVER put an "e" in "grammar".  Period.  End of lesson.

Grammar/Spelling lesson #2:

There is no such word as "alot."  This word does not exist.  It has never existed.  And if I have my way it will never exist.  EVER.  What the heck, anyway.  How do people come up with these things?  Alot?  Does this rhyme with "ballot"?  My eyes are rolling around in my head.

It is "a lot" - not "alot" (which does not exist or have any meaning other than that the writer doesn't have a clue.)

Correct:  I have a lot of money.
Incorrect:  I have alot of education.  (Not correct in either sense.)

People see what you write.  Please let them know that you have "a lot" of education and good sense.  This will be on the test that you will be unaware you are taking.  Please do not fail.

Grammar/Spelling lesson #3:

There is no "E" in the middle of the word "separate."  Ever.  So don't put one there.  Ever.
If you do, then you are once again Evil.  The word is SepArate.  Now go write that 10 thousand times until you have learned it and never again stick that evil "e" where the awesome "a" should be.

~ AngelMay ~


Brian Miller said...

i have a hard time keeping my grammer rules seperate, like alot...


The Silver Fox said...

As an unrepentant Grammar Nazi, I loved this. And an old trick -- one you obviously don't need -- is to remember that "separate" has "a rat" hiding in the word.

AngelMay said...

Brian! Here! Put on this pointy hat and go sit in the corner!

Lo said...

Brilliant! I love it.

But only 3 rules??? Gawd.....I cringe a thousand times a day at the horrors, but this is a great beginning. By the-- way, my blessed English teacher reminded us that separate had an R in the middle separating two A's.

AngelMay said...

Lo - That was just the first edition. I'm just getting started. :)

AngelMay said...

Silver Fox - so nice to know a fellow grammar Nazi. :) I knew there were reasons I liked you so much.