Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Things I Sometimes Think About – 3
Turnabout is fair play.
So what’s with all these women who are drowning themselves in noxious fumes and then venturing forth into society silently assaulting the innocent and unsuspecting?
We were dining yesterday and immensely enjoying a salad that was richly adorned with gorgeous red tomatoes when, on the other side of a half-partition, a party of mostly young women were being seated.
Suddenly, my salad lost its taste. Or, that is, my ability to taste my salad was lost in the overpowering stench of the latest, and probably unjustifiably expensive, “fragrance” on the market. I attempted to cover my nose to avoid the gaggingly-offensive assault on my person, but it was too late. The molecules of stench were wafting in every direction from the young lovely who, I am sure, thought she smelled absolutely divine.
Whatever happened to the discreet dab of fragrance on the wrists, or the delicate touch at the throat and behind the ears that gave a woman that certain understated elegance and je ne sais quoi? At what point did women come to believe they must shower in the fragrance in order to be noticed? And do they never stop to think of the battles being fought in the air around them between their own fragrance and those, different fragrances, of their companions – not to mention the ambush of innocent bystanders in the vicinity? Wasn’t there a perfume at one time called “Ambush”? How apropos!
My personal fragrance is “Joy” which is quite expensive for a single ounce but it lasts for years, is worth the price, and comes in a lovely crystal bottle sans any spray mechanism whatsoever:
Even the professional perfumer’s description of this fragrance makes it alluring as they announce that it is “a classic, womanly, gorgeously balanced scent. It is the olfactory equivalent of a 1950s Dior dinner suit — flattering, adaptable, and luxurious down to its hand-basted seams.” Ooooooo! Yum!
So women everywhere! Stop it! Stop it at once! There is no need to knock the unsuspecting down left and right as you pass by. Refuse to purchase perfumes that come in spray bottles. Insist, instead, on quality fragrances and use them discretely. Have some mystery about you! Some elegance! Some class!
And just maybe you will end up with a nice guy who doesn’t spit.