Saturday, July 17, 2010

Things I Sometimes Think About – 2


What’s with men and their spitting?


I mean, really! What is it about their salivary glands that require them to hawk up a big one and then spit it all over the sidewalk/road/grass?


And how come women don’t ever seem to suffer from this malady? Do we have under-developed salivary glands? Were none of us present the day hawking and spitting were being taught?


We were there for the scratching and belching part. I’m pretty sure of that. But somehow we must have had a shy instructor because we all manage to do the scratching discretely, depending on the location of the itch, of course. And the belching we often disguise as hiccoughs followed rapidly by an, “Excuse me!”


Men seem to think it’s a contest, especially the belching part. I think they secretly grade each other on the melodiousness and length of the belch. And we are not EVEN going to discuss flatulence because my eyes will roll over into the back of my head and might not roll back again.


And how come men find all these things so funny?


And while they are rolling on the floor with laughter why are we standing there trying to look serious – arms folded – and doing everything possible to keep from encouraging them by bursting into laughter ourselves?


I often think of things way more interesting (and intelligent) than this. But this is what I thought about today. Damned brain. There’s just no controlling it.


That’s my story….




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11 comments:

Baino said...

Haha . . I was sitting on my river bench last week, quietly having my lunch and I kid you not, three men joggers stopped in front of me, did a couple of stretches, rearranged their crown jewels not a metre away from me and continued jogging! Didn't bat an eyelid. As for spitting, it's actually a fineable offence here so you don't see much of it at all except for the Chinese for whom it's culturally acceptable - i beg to differ!

CatLadyLarew said...

I've always wanted to be able to spit well. But every time I try, I seem to just end up with the spittle on my chin. Which is why I don't spit... in addition to the fact that spitting is kind of a guy thing.

Lo said...

Wonderful....I was thinking a lot of these same thoughts recently.....we are indeed sisters.
Glad you wrote this one.

Brian Miller said...

guys are disgusting creatures...so what does it say about you that you like guys so much..lol.

RA said...

Yeah, it does seem that men are not only proud of, but amused by their own body! The intellectual side rarely sparks such interest in them. Therefore it is not susprising that in sports the protecting cup for genitals was taken to use 100 years before the helmet. That's how long it took for men to realize that brain also matters! :D

Janice said...

Amusing topic. I have never understood the male spitting thing...

Alan Burnett said...

You don't seem to see quite as many spitters these days as in times past. It used to have a lot to do with lung diseases of one type or another. I remember "no spitting" signs on most buses and once - on a Manchester bus - a "No Spitting on this bus" sign next to an advert for the Manchester Ship Canal which simply said "Use The Ship Canal"

Sandy said...

You brought back a not-so-fond memory of the round copper spittoon that was a fixture in my childhood home. My daddy chewed Red Man and was somewhat tidy about it, but there was still that disgusting smell and the thought...oooooo, it still makes me nauseous! My four siblings and I were all in our teens (or almost)when the cutest baby sister was born. She was a total doll. However, she had a tendecy to crawl under the table and tip over the spittoon. Who do you think ended up cleaning up THAT mess?

AngelMay said...

LOL! Sandy, ICK! Poor girl!

Jessie said...

i agree with you. and as far as Brian's comment, well, i have several comebacks -- i'll just leave it at, love can be blind...

lol

smiles,

Kat said...

Oh, you said it! I detest spitters! It is really disgusting, isn't it? This is only one of the reasons you're not likely to every find me on Chinese soil. Toronto's public walking spaces are bad enough! (I don't even live there.)

Kat