Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Itty-Bitty Town Police Report - 21 July 2010

~ Having made a huge pile of his estranged wife's clothing and doused it with gasoline, a 29-year-old local man was arrested and charged with domestic violence shortly before 8:30 p.m. July 10. Officers said the missus, a 29-year-old local woman, claimed he'd kicked a dent in her vehicle as well. The man reportedly did not dispute anything.

( Well, there's a black cloud over that guy's head, isn't there? )

~ Apparently intending to beat up his ex's new boyfriend, a 27-year-old man from a nearby town was jailed for assault shortly after 9:30 p.m. July 2. Officers said the man approached his ex-girlfriend's parked car, slapped the 25-year-old new boyfriend as he was yanking him out of the passenger seat and then proceeded to get the worst of the ensuing fist-fight. Officers reported finding him "on the ground, crying and speaking in a high-pitched, excited voice" when they arrived.

( Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get up in the morning. )

~ A caller on a local road told the Sheriff's Office on June 25 that Jehovah's Witnesses had left literature at her door.

( I would love to have been a fly on the wall when that call came in. )

~ A passing motorist called the Sheriff's Office on June 26 to report a dead woman in a vehicle parked alongside a State road. A deputy arrived on scene and awakened the sleeping 39-year-old woman and determined she was fine.

~ A woman smelling of marijuana was contacted by a deputy in district court, June 30. The woman provided a deputy with a pipe that contained burnt residue that smelled of marijuana. The woman said she had a medical marijuana card, but did not have it with her. She said her doctor told her to keep the pipe on her person.

( Yeah. Uh huh. Riiiiiight. )

~ Deputies cited a local man for negligent driving on June 29 after the man collided with a tree in an attempt to evade a Sheriff's deputy.

( Well, now... see there? If they hadn't been after him, he never would have hit the tree! )

~ Stolen bamboo shoots from a local yard on July 15 led the homeowner to call the Sheriff's Office.

A used syringe was found June 10 during a local festival.

( Must've been some festival! )

~ A man playing a guitar in the middle of the road near a local beach on July 9 prompted a call to the Sheriff's office. Upon arriving at the scene, however, deputies were unable to locate the subject.

( He must have been playing "Travelin' Man" )

~ Deputies took a report of a shopping cart stolen from a local food bank on July 8.

~ Deputies responded to a dispute in a nearby town on July 5. Upon arrival, deputies discovered a male, at home alone, talking to himself.

( Believe me, you CAN'T make this stuff up! )



RA said...

Oh, I believe you! These are just too silly to be invented.... I absolutely fainted of laughter with the Jehovah's Witnesses' literature! :D

Brian Miller said...

haha. did you hear abou tthe guy that called the cops becuase he was having a heart attack, from running from the

Janice said...

Very amusing, as usual...

Baino said...

Haha nope, you can't make it up. Only 1 syringe at a rock concert? Probably a careless diabetic.

AmyLK said...

That's small town living. I love it!