Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wednesday Police Report


I live in a little-bitty town in the Pacific Northwest. This town is SO little-bitty that we don’t get much in the way of real big crime. However, we did recently have a murder (which was sensational since it so rarely happens here) and a local farmer who went to the big city nearby and robbed a bank. Some here are, obviously, not too bright. Ahem! Anyway…

The local paper publishes both the local police and sheriff’s log each week - well, almost each week. You see… it’s a weekly paper only and sometimes they don’t report these logs. But when they do, the reports can be quite entertaining.

So without further ado….
I present to you our local police and sheriff’s logs:

*** A 10-year-old boy’s birthday party ended early when the mother phoned the police that her 54-year-old boyfriend made rude remarks to the boy.

*** A 60-year-old woman backed into a parking space without clearance and struck one unoccupied vehicle which subsequently struck another unoccupied vehicle. Damages were minor.

*** Someone stole four golf cart batteries. A 79-year-old man reported the third-degree theft.

*** Police arrested a 22-year-old after he drove a 1999 Saturn into a ditch. Officers observed that he had the odor of intoxication, but he passed all sobriety tests. While he was detained, police discovered that he had marijuana. He was arrested for negligent driving and possession of marijuana under 40 grams.

*** A male suspect wearing a red hoody reportedly stole a Christmas tree from the Safeway parking lot. The new model Honda Accord was driven by a “heavyset female”. The male got out to load up the tree. Employees yelled at the man to pay for the tree but the pair drove off.

*** Loud music was reported on the night of Dec 4. The individuals involved agreed to turn it down.

*** Police officers were dispatched to the 800 block of X Street at 10:28 p.m. on Dec. 29 after reports of possible prowlers within a residence.

Police witnessed two males, later determined to be ages 20 and 28, and a 36-year-old female with flashlights inside the house, with the lights off.

When officers knocked on the door, the two males scattered and the woman answered. The woman is the soon-to-be resident who had permission from the landlord to move in early, police confirmed. She and the males had been moving all day and were sitting in the residence with flashlights, eating and telling ghost stories.

Officers “apparently knocked at just the right time during the stories,” said the Police Sgt. “It scared the crap out of the two men.”

You CANNOT make this stuff up!

13 comments:

Brian Miller said...

haha. that last one about the flashlights is awesome. i am picturing barney fife with his gun out about to shoot the lock off the door. lol.

Janice said...

Loved reading your local police log. I think I would like to live in your city, which is probably like my city many years ago before I moved here. Thanks for sharing that; it gave me a chuckle. Ah, the simple life...

Baino said...

Haha awesome! That's the benefit of living in a small town. Loved the last one, scared the crap out of the men so she was brave enough to open the door!

otin said...

The loud music one had me in tears!!! They turned it down! hahaha!

Megan said...

My favorite thing about our week of camping every year is getting the Downieville paper. It's always just like this. You really can't make that stuff up!

Did you hear the news story about the 911 dispatcher who lost her job for writing on the internet about funny calls she had received? I still don't get that. Aren't they all released to the public anyway?

Colette Amelia said...

sounds like a great place to live! How refreshing...no drive by shootings, home invasions, car theft, rape, shoot out in the street!

Mmm said...

is that for real--with the crap word thrown in? Hmmm. Crazy if so. Lovely Polics station though, i must say.

Sandra Leigh said...

My favourite was "Officers observed that he had the odor of intoxication." How poetic.

Alan Burnett said...

Oh to live in a town where crime was someone playing music loud who later agreed to turn the volume down. You can keep your murders and your bank robberies, that is the kind of crime I would like.

Jessie said...

lol lol this was a great post!!! the picture is lovely, someplace that would be nice for a short vacation or stop over. i really enjoyed the last story -- figures that a woman would have the courage to check it out!!! lol

warm smiles,

Simpson/Lynch Studios said...

Silver Fox here, 'tho I'm signed in as SnL. That last one was the kicker! Fun post.

AngelMay said...

To all who wondered: Yes, the "crap" word was printed in the paper just as I reported it. You should all come on up/out/over for a visit. ;)

Mmm said...

well, thats for answering that. Whoa.